It's been months since I've last blogged. I've been busy, and when I'm busy, I neglect what I find most therapeutic.
Well, at least I thought working 6 days a week and taking two college courses qualified me as a busy person. Then I found out my psychology professor is a full-time professor, a full-time student, and a single parent. Now I feel grateful for all of "free time" I have.
Today is the second snow day in a row. On Tuesday we had early dismissal. After all of my kids left, I grabbed my things, stocked up on food at the grocery store, and went home. I have not left the house since. Mail has stopped coming, I've been unable to use my car... It's been weird. But so incredibly needed.
I've gotten so much done. I've been able to grade papers, edit the book I helped translate, and even file my taxes. And I've just received an e-mail that tomorrow will be yet another snow day. Perhaps tomorrow I will just relax. No work, just pure relaxation. Probably not... I always find some sort of a project. Something to keep me busy.
I'm going a bit stir crazy. As fun as it is to work in the privacy of my own home, I miss moving. I'm used to standing up all day working with children, not sitting on my bed.
I suppose I could get used to this in small doses...
<3 M
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Random Thoughts About Teaching
A lot of things have changed since I walked down the street I had lived on for a year, waving goodbye to my host family and my life in Freiburg. A lot has changed since I got on the train to head to the airport, waving at David and saying goodbye to him for nearly half a year.
Until recently, I was going to other people for advice. Now, they're coming to me. You'd be surprised how many crises kids choose to share with their teachers. They see us as these super beings that have all of the answers. They look up at us with their big, innocent eyes, hoping we can help them. And I do; to the best of my ability. Some of them have stories that could make anyone's heart break. But they somehow carry on.
I get notes sometimes. Kids leave notes on the board in German. One boy gave me a sticky note that said, "Frau Rowland ist die beste Lehrerin der Welt." I sort of wonder how he got the sentence to be so grammatically correct, but I was very touched.
I keep forgetting that many of these kids aren't yet able to advocate for themselves. Instead of telling us what they need, they are waiting for us to see that they need it. Today, I finally moved a boy who is always a bit too chatty. A few minutes later he said, "I like this spot better. I can concentrate here." Had I known that was the problem at the beginning of the year, that would've saved me a lot of grief.
I go to a lot of meetings. Meeting after meeting until sometimes I want to pull my hair out. I've been pulled into a world that I knew little about and was told to dive right in. I still don't understand some rules and policies, but take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one.
It's amazing how some kids change their behavior completely in your classroom once you start doting on them a bit. I would've never thought kids would like to tell me about their day or things that or going on while helping me with something that needs to be done in the classroom. Most kids eat that stuff up.
I never realized how forgiving kids are. I will yell at them, give them extra assignments, correct their behavior, etc. And by the next class, they're telling me how excited they are to be in my room, or how they love my shirt or my new haircut. It's so nice to be able to start fresh everyday.
It's a stressful job, that's for sure. But it's so rewarding. I'm able to combine my love of language, learning, children, and helping others. This isn't where I thought I'd end up, but it's where I belong.
Until recently, I was going to other people for advice. Now, they're coming to me. You'd be surprised how many crises kids choose to share with their teachers. They see us as these super beings that have all of the answers. They look up at us with their big, innocent eyes, hoping we can help them. And I do; to the best of my ability. Some of them have stories that could make anyone's heart break. But they somehow carry on.
I get notes sometimes. Kids leave notes on the board in German. One boy gave me a sticky note that said, "Frau Rowland ist die beste Lehrerin der Welt." I sort of wonder how he got the sentence to be so grammatically correct, but I was very touched.
I keep forgetting that many of these kids aren't yet able to advocate for themselves. Instead of telling us what they need, they are waiting for us to see that they need it. Today, I finally moved a boy who is always a bit too chatty. A few minutes later he said, "I like this spot better. I can concentrate here." Had I known that was the problem at the beginning of the year, that would've saved me a lot of grief.
I go to a lot of meetings. Meeting after meeting until sometimes I want to pull my hair out. I've been pulled into a world that I knew little about and was told to dive right in. I still don't understand some rules and policies, but take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one.
It's amazing how some kids change their behavior completely in your classroom once you start doting on them a bit. I would've never thought kids would like to tell me about their day or things that or going on while helping me with something that needs to be done in the classroom. Most kids eat that stuff up.
I never realized how forgiving kids are. I will yell at them, give them extra assignments, correct their behavior, etc. And by the next class, they're telling me how excited they are to be in my room, or how they love my shirt or my new haircut. It's so nice to be able to start fresh everyday.
It's a stressful job, that's for sure. But it's so rewarding. I'm able to combine my love of language, learning, children, and helping others. This isn't where I thought I'd end up, but it's where I belong.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Never Say Never
Not only did I used to say that I didn't want to be a teacher, but I also said I never want to be a "boss." I never wanted to be in charge of other people or have to own up to mistakes. Now I realize what this was: I had very little confidence in myself and my abilities.
No, I'm not the boss of a fortune 500 company, or even a small start-up. But I am in charge of about 100 children every single day. I am their example, their educator, and, to an extent, their caretaker. And I'm thriving in ways I never thought I would.
The other day the language department head came into my room, as she sometimes does to check and make sure things are running smoothly in my classroom. "Why did you dismiss the children already?" She asked me. "They made an announcement saying they would tell us when to dismiss them."
The old me would've made up an excuse. The new me said, "I made a mistake. I let them out at the time given on the info sheet we received." I waited for the lecture. All I got was, "Me too! They've been announcing too many things lately to keep things straight."
Moral of the story? Everyone makes mistakes, even those who are in a position of power. Mistakes don't make you a failure or inadequate. Or unable to be a leader. They make you human.
Which is exactly what I am.
No, I'm not the boss of a fortune 500 company, or even a small start-up. But I am in charge of about 100 children every single day. I am their example, their educator, and, to an extent, their caretaker. And I'm thriving in ways I never thought I would.
The other day the language department head came into my room, as she sometimes does to check and make sure things are running smoothly in my classroom. "Why did you dismiss the children already?" She asked me. "They made an announcement saying they would tell us when to dismiss them."
The old me would've made up an excuse. The new me said, "I made a mistake. I let them out at the time given on the info sheet we received." I waited for the lecture. All I got was, "Me too! They've been announcing too many things lately to keep things straight."
Moral of the story? Everyone makes mistakes, even those who are in a position of power. Mistakes don't make you a failure or inadequate. Or unable to be a leader. They make you human.
Which is exactly what I am.
Monday, September 2, 2013
"Hut ab," Ingrid said to me after school today, commending me for more than just surviving my first week of teaching, but for doing very well.
I'm impressed with myself. I came in as a lateral entry teacher without the traditional training, but, having had training in my own way (year of teacher's college in Germany, degrees in German, babysitting experience, subbing for college German courses, language camp, etc), I was able to take what I know and the advice from other teachers to put in my best effort. There is no doubt that I've made dozens of mistakes that I will eventually uncover as I gain more experience as a teacher. However, I've done quite well for a newbie, and I'm going to celebrate it. :)
I'm impressed with myself. I came in as a lateral entry teacher without the traditional training, but, having had training in my own way (year of teacher's college in Germany, degrees in German, babysitting experience, subbing for college German courses, language camp, etc), I was able to take what I know and the advice from other teachers to put in my best effort. There is no doubt that I've made dozens of mistakes that I will eventually uncover as I gain more experience as a teacher. However, I've done quite well for a newbie, and I'm going to celebrate it. :)
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
She has arrived.
3 weeks ago today David and his mother brought me to the train station in Freiburg. As I got onto the train and looked at his puppy eyes, I swallowed hard and sat down. The train pulled away and I cried. I had what David likes to call my "five minutes." And then I stopped. I watched a TV show on my laptop and composed myself. I knew that for the sake of my mental health, I couldn't dwell on the fact that I was leaving.
12 hours later when my plane from Frankfurt landed in Charlotte, my sister was there to greet me. Despite the fact that Meghan and I are as different as night and day, I couldn't love her more. Mom picked us up at the curb and got all misty eyed. Despite being in a completely different city yet again, I was with my girls. I was home.
The Marriot hotel was more than nice, and the service was amazing. There was Starbuck's coffee in the lobby every morning, and treats out for us in the afternoon. The beds were big and comfy. I'd never slept better.
Orientation for work the next morning was a blur. I was terribly jet-lagged and didn't have a thing to wear. Naturally, the pictures for our ID badges were taken that day. Thankfully, the orientation didn't last too long and Meghan and mom and I were able to get a few things done that day.
Dad arrived later that afternoon. As always, he was a true sport and did whatever he could to help me. He couldn't have been more kind and supportive. He is the type of guy that is very easygoing, and often won't just come out and say what he actually wants to do. When mom suggested that she, Meghan, and I go shopping and dad stay behind, he was thrilled. He went to the bar and did his own thing while Meghan and Mom made suggestions for my room that I kept rejecting. Things hadn't changed much between us.
Those first few days were hardly a vacation for my family and me. We had to move me in to my townhouse, which was not an easy task. Thankfully everyone naturally took their posts. Dad built my bed and desk, Meghan organized my bathroom and closet, Mom cleaned pots and pans as well as the kitchen, and I went through my things to decide what to keep and then cleaned.
On Sunday morning at 5:30am my family woke up to leave. I said goodbye and went back to sleep for a few hours. Then, I checked out of the Marriot and went to my new home. My DVD collection was my best friend that day. Again, for the sake of my mental health I realized that dwelling on my family leaving and that my boyfriend was thousands of miles away would not help the situation. So, I sat back, relaxed, and watched Growing Pains.
Lateral entry training for teachers was quite entertaining. The woman running it was hilarious, and I told her on our lunch break one day that she should've been a comedian. "Well I was one, actually," she replied.
This week I entered my classroom for the first time. It was filled with things from my former German teacher, whose position I'm taking over. It somehow felt so right as I filled the room with my things, while leaving some of hers. Despite the fact that, at 18, I vowed I would never teach, I ended up back here.
The World Languages Department feels like home to me. In our little lounge, faculty sit and converse in the various languages that we teach here. It's the international environment that I'm so used to recreated right here in Charlotte, NC. In our hall there is a sign that says, "Monolingualism is curable." :) I love it.
The other teachers in the department are more than kind. They all want to help and see me be successful. It seems like a family. Most people aren't aware of it, but teachers have to buy most of their own supplies that they use in the classroom. And yet the teachers are so generous with what they do have, even if they had to buy it with their own hard-earned money.
I've always wanted to do something that involved helping people, using German, and working with German. And to think it took me so long to make the connection that I needed to become a German teacher?
With love from Charlotte,
Molly
12 hours later when my plane from Frankfurt landed in Charlotte, my sister was there to greet me. Despite the fact that Meghan and I are as different as night and day, I couldn't love her more. Mom picked us up at the curb and got all misty eyed. Despite being in a completely different city yet again, I was with my girls. I was home.
The Marriot hotel was more than nice, and the service was amazing. There was Starbuck's coffee in the lobby every morning, and treats out for us in the afternoon. The beds were big and comfy. I'd never slept better.
Orientation for work the next morning was a blur. I was terribly jet-lagged and didn't have a thing to wear. Naturally, the pictures for our ID badges were taken that day. Thankfully, the orientation didn't last too long and Meghan and mom and I were able to get a few things done that day.
Dad arrived later that afternoon. As always, he was a true sport and did whatever he could to help me. He couldn't have been more kind and supportive. He is the type of guy that is very easygoing, and often won't just come out and say what he actually wants to do. When mom suggested that she, Meghan, and I go shopping and dad stay behind, he was thrilled. He went to the bar and did his own thing while Meghan and Mom made suggestions for my room that I kept rejecting. Things hadn't changed much between us.
Those first few days were hardly a vacation for my family and me. We had to move me in to my townhouse, which was not an easy task. Thankfully everyone naturally took their posts. Dad built my bed and desk, Meghan organized my bathroom and closet, Mom cleaned pots and pans as well as the kitchen, and I went through my things to decide what to keep and then cleaned.
On Sunday morning at 5:30am my family woke up to leave. I said goodbye and went back to sleep for a few hours. Then, I checked out of the Marriot and went to my new home. My DVD collection was my best friend that day. Again, for the sake of my mental health I realized that dwelling on my family leaving and that my boyfriend was thousands of miles away would not help the situation. So, I sat back, relaxed, and watched Growing Pains.
Lateral entry training for teachers was quite entertaining. The woman running it was hilarious, and I told her on our lunch break one day that she should've been a comedian. "Well I was one, actually," she replied.
This week I entered my classroom for the first time. It was filled with things from my former German teacher, whose position I'm taking over. It somehow felt so right as I filled the room with my things, while leaving some of hers. Despite the fact that, at 18, I vowed I would never teach, I ended up back here.
The World Languages Department feels like home to me. In our little lounge, faculty sit and converse in the various languages that we teach here. It's the international environment that I'm so used to recreated right here in Charlotte, NC. In our hall there is a sign that says, "Monolingualism is curable." :) I love it.
The other teachers in the department are more than kind. They all want to help and see me be successful. It seems like a family. Most people aren't aware of it, but teachers have to buy most of their own supplies that they use in the classroom. And yet the teachers are so generous with what they do have, even if they had to buy it with their own hard-earned money.
I've always wanted to do something that involved helping people, using German, and working with German. And to think it took me so long to make the connection that I needed to become a German teacher?
With love from Charlotte,
Molly
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