Never Say Never

Not only did I used to say that I didn't want to be a teacher, but I also said I never want to be a "boss." I never wanted to be in charge of other people or have to own up to mistakes. Now I realize what this was: I had very little confidence in myself and my abilities.

No, I'm not the boss of a fortune 500 company, or even a small start-up. But I am in charge of about 100 children every single day. I am their example, their educator, and, to an extent, their caretaker. And I'm thriving in ways I never thought I would.

The other day the language department head came into my room, as she sometimes does to check and make sure things are running smoothly in my classroom. "Why did you dismiss the children already?" She asked me. "They made an announcement saying they would tell us when to dismiss them."

The old me would've made up an excuse. The new me said, "I made a mistake. I let them out at the time given on the info sheet we received." I waited for the lecture. All I got was, "Me too! They've been announcing too many things lately to keep things straight."

Moral of the story? Everyone makes mistakes, even those who are in a position of power. Mistakes don't make you a failure or inadequate. Or unable to be a leader. They make you human.

Which is exactly what I am.

"Hut ab," Ingrid said to me after school today, commending me for more than just surviving my first week of teaching, but for doing very well.

I'm impressed with myself. I came in as a lateral entry teacher without the traditional training, but, having had training in my own way (year of teacher's college in Germany, degrees in German, babysitting experience, subbing for college German courses, language camp, etc), I was able to take what I know and the advice from other teachers to put in my best effort. There is no doubt that I've made dozens of mistakes that I will eventually uncover as I gain more experience as a teacher. However, I've done quite well for a newbie, and I'm going to celebrate it. :)